Victoria Advocate, A Different Perspective
Is it possible to be busy and successful and still be lonely? It’s all too easy to focus on getting things done instead of investing in friends and family, but then we miss out on the sweetness of life.
God didn’t mean for us to do this journey alone. We need each other to accomplish the tasks that God has for us. And often, we need support beyond our small circle of friends and family. When I began writing, no one in any of my circles was interested in the profession of writing. But if I was going to realize the dream God put in my heart, I needed a support group of fellow writers to lean on. The learning curve of professional writing is steep, and the dropout rate is high. So I made friends within a large national writing organization, and we helped one another on our writing journeys. And once I started writing for the Advocate, friendly emails and encouragement from my readers proved an enormous help.
Sometimes we need support groups to help us with aspects of life we never thought to experience. Years ago, close friends of ours had a son who disappeared on his way back to college. He was troubled, but there was never any evidence of foul play or suicide. He was just—gone. My friend mentioned in passing that she attended a group for people suffering profound sadness. When I asked her about it, she answered candidly, “I had to have a place where I could process my grief.” None of her family or friends could understand the trauma she was experiencing. She needed to walk with people who had traveled a similar road. Between that group and her relationship with God, she was able to navigate the loss of her son.
As I recover from a hip replacement surgery, I’ve needed my local support group. I wouldn’t be near as far along without them. My husband has been the champion of caregivers. I had no idea how picky I am about socks, or that I like things arranged just so, but he’s exhibited remarkable patience with all my idiosyncrasies. He also insisted I call the doctor’s office when my dressing came loose and got wet. I was tempted to wait for my scheduled appointment, but the tech assured me that coming in was a good call. Two friends insisted on dropping by for lunch every week. They have regularly reminded me not to overdo, and that I don’t get to be the boss when they’re around. I’ve cherished their company because they help me keep things in the proper perspective. I’m not the first or the last person to have a hip replacement. It knocks hard on my penchant to not ask for help, but no one goes through life without needing it.
People need different support groups depending on our circumstances. Jesus Christ, Son of God, loved his disciples dearly, though their support didn’t amount to much. While in the Garden of Gethsemane, he asked them to watch and pray with him, only to roust them from sleep three times (Matthew 26:44-45). When trouble came calling shortly afterward, they were frightened and ran away. Not a convincing display of devoted friendship. Good thing Jesus had God, the Holy Spirit, and a band of angels in his other support group.
Support groups are vital. We need each other. And we need to get along. Jesus isn’t interested in our “Just Jesus and me” mentality if it means isolating ourselves because we can’t, or don’t want, to get along with people.
| An old African proverb says, “If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.” |